Saturday, October 10, 2009

Perfectionism


Perfectionist: One who believes in or professes any theory of perfection. One who will not accept or be content with anything short of perfection. (Websters)



I'm a perfectionist. Everything I do I want to be perfect, I want people to like me, my ideas, I want to be the best I can be. However, I do not expect perfection in others. In fact I often already view them as having already reached a state of perfection, and I view myself as some how inferior.

The world inundates us with so many images. Images that embody their idea of perfectionism. The world tells us...'to be beautiful you need to be a size 0, to be loved you should wear this type of clothing, to be attractive you should own this car.' Being the perfectionist I am I wanted all of the material things that the world was telling me I needed to be 'perfect'. I wanted to be the model of perfection by the worlds standards. I was trapped in an emotional roller coaster. One day I would feel like I achieved perfection, the next I was far from it. Let me tell you it's a very lonely place to be. You never measure up, there is always someone or something that is better than your 'perfect'. It's impossible to be perfect and be in the world. You see someone who is thinner than you, has nicer clothing than you, a newer car... When it gets to the point that you deprive your body of it's basic needs so that you can be 'the most perfect person' then it's far past the 'you need help point'. I was at that point. I would do anything to be the most perfect person, I would do anything to feel good about myself. Enter my husband, my helper.

It took him working with me and pointing me back to Christ to heal me. He reminded me that Christ made me 'perfect', maybe not by the worlds standards, but by His. I am a creation of God, His daughter, and He loves everything about me...so why don't I? I choose not to degrade His creation any longer. I want to serve my creator, and I want to become like Him, not like what the world tells me to be. I want to the type of woman that Christ calls me to be...

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised

Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:10-31

I'm striving everyday to live a life that Christ calls me to live. It's not always easy, but that's okay because I have the Lord on my side. When I'm feeling the worlds defeat, I just need to remember that my Father already defeated the world!

Are you resting in the belief that you are more valuable to your Creator than you are to this fleeting world?

1 comment:

  1. Nicole,
    Emotionally overwhelmed with your first and this entry. It's a brave and amazing journey to take. I feel blessed you were brought into my life. Your heart for God has been apparent since first meeting you. The family's heart was melted right away with your kind, gentle ways. It will be special and insightful to get to know you through this perspective. The subject matter is all too familiar. Thank you for redirecting my thoughts toward God. The Lord is definitely smiling right now.........you are a beautiful writer. I'm really going to enjoy knowing you! Even with the distance, now I will feel closer. Love, Melinda

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